And Then...

"A man who dares waste one hour of time has not discovered life." - Charles Darwin

For the past couple of years, I've been searching for something... something to motivate me, something to give me purpose, something to make me feel complete. I couldn't quite put my finger on what I wanted and I couldn't quite define what I needed. I moved states and then moved back home again... I quit jobs, applied to schools and researched multiple options but nothing seemed quite right and everything seemed forced.

But this feeling, this need seemed to constantly grow and feed off of my unhappiness which only seemed to make me more unhappy and angry about everything in my life. I've tried different things - exercise programs, joining community groups, buying a house, adopting a dog, and planning trips. But nothing seemed to be right - nothing seemed to work.

For as long as I can remember, I was basically told what I should I do... My life was very planned out: do well in school, go to good college and get a good job. No one every really offered any other options... No one every really told me how to choose a good job and how to make it fit me. I don't think I'm the only one who has this problem... Most of my friends have changed jobs by now, especially sine we hit the 30 age range.

And I've allowed myself to drown in this confusion. Until recently. Until I determined I had the ability and the control to make myself happy. This seems so obvious but recognizing I have the control and taking control are two totally different things. And it seems that's what I've done. I've taken control of my thoughts, my actions and my emotions. Instead of letting them rule me, I'm deciding how to feel and what to do. Now, I seem to be back to my old self, laughing more, wanting more, dreaming more and making more happen.

Without doing a thing other than realizing I control my future. It's a great thing to know.

Although, I do have to give a little credit to the words Camryn Manheim wrote herself:

The thing is, Camryn, life isn't a dress rehearsal. We don't get any do-overs. You've got to mkae the days count - all of them.
So go kick some ass. Don't take no for an answer. Work hard, play hard, fight hard, and love hard. Break some rules and raise a little hell. And as the end of every day, ask yourself if you have any regrets. I guarantee you, you will rarely regret the things you did do, and mostly regret the things you didn't do. So do it. Do it all. Learn French.* Get a piano. Write your one-person show. Fall in love more often. Love the journey, not just the result.

*Notice the french lessons... It's definitely a reoccuring theme in my life lately.

Theme Song

"To live is the rarest thing in the world. Most people exist, that is all." - Oscar Wilde

My Town

"A little bit of Mayberry, a dash of 'Gone with the Wind' and a whole lot of Hazard County."

I don't know where I found that quote but I love it. It fits my little Georgia town perfectly. I'm sure it actually fits a lot of small southern towns. My little town is so great and the irony of my life is the things I love about this town are also the things I hate about it. Isn't that just dandy?

I love going places and always running into someone I know... I hate going places and always having to talk to everyone. One night, a big city friend of mine was with me at a restaurant and he watched in amazement as I literally greeted everyone in the room and introduced him to about half. Then he was shocked when our waiter greeted me by name and asked about my parents. I remember being amused at his surprise but my thoughts are more along the lines of "I grew up here and have lived here for five years of my adult life... what do you expect?"

In a town of about 15000* you're bound to run into the same people over and over again. Plus I work at my family's business so as I learned the hard way in high school, I may not recognize them but they know my daddy.

Another friend of mine grew up in Atlanta and moved out here to be closer to her parents and their farm about 7 years ago. She's like me and has lived in Athens and then moved back here a couple of times. She's met a lot of people and is very friendly and outgoing. But she still remains shocked everytime she meets someone new and then finds out that I already know them. And it's not that I know everyone well but between all the members of my family and my job, I'm bound to have run into them at least once before in my life.

Even one of my referral sources at the hospital asked me how I knew everyone... I had brought her lunch and we were sitting in the cafeteria. Multiple people stopped to speak to me and tell her to be sure to give me business, etc. It was funny because she's not the most outgoing person so by the end of the lunch, she was overwhelmed. And she asked how I knew everyone.

And my friends love to hear how my parents knew when I misbehaved in high school, usually before I had even done whatever it was that we were plotting. I'll never forget the night a friend of mine and I drove up in my driveway to find both of our dads standing there waiting on us. Fortunately we hadn't actually done anything wrong... my mom had just assumed we were up to no good. We definitely paused halfway and contemplated pulling back out into the street - our hearts were in our throats.

I guess it's just a novel idea to people who don't grow up in small towns but it's one of my favorite things about living here. In contrast, when I was NYC the other weekend, I spent the first day wondering where all those people came from and where they lived. I have gotten to the point of being slightly overwhelmed by crowds.

Of course, I get disgusted by the segregation, not being able to buy alcohol, the lack of open-mindness, the gossip, and all the other smallness of a small town. But I also get turned off by crazy traffic, honking horns, dirty streets and people pushing into me on the subway. You take the good with the bad in every situation.

I feel fortunate to know of other places, to travel and explore, knowing I have roots running deep and strong. A place which supports and comforts me as I go through life. Because this is HOME... it's a feeling I can't put into words without sounding cheesy. When I drive up 138 and the fields start getting larger and the roadside starts getting greener, I know I'm almost there. And I always sigh, knowing the trip's almost over and that I'm back where everyone knows my name (and will tell my daddy what I've been doing wrong!).

*Depends on who you talk to and where you define the boundaries.

Back in Business

The best way to keep good acts in memory is to refresh them with new.
- Cato the Elder

I'm back so I'll put a new post soon... tomorrow? Maybe. Hopefully.

I've got lots of pictures! Of dogdas, the Moron Express, Shellman leprichans, and some clowns as well. It was an interesting and much needed weekend. I'll explain it all and tell the stories soon.

Misery loves Company

The trick is in what one emphasizes. We either make ourselves miserable, or we make ourselves happy. The amount of work is the same.
- Carlos Castaneda

The past couple of days have been hard. A family friend passed away and it's hit me hard. For multiple reasons including protecting the privacy of the innocent, I won't say much about it. Just know I'm hurting for my friends.

Plus I've been sick. I've never had streph throat and I certainly don't ever want it again. The worst part about it was being quarantined. Especially in a time when I wanted to be there for a friend.

And it makes me feel guilty - I've been a little self-absorbed for the past couple of months, agonizing over my decisions, "problems" and indulging my every whim. In the "Big Picture" of things, I have no problems, no complaints and a happy, healthy family. If I ever needed some persective, it's been the last couple of months and I finally got a huge dose of reality. It's going to change the way I think, act, and approach my life. I need to live with more gusto and enjoy all of my moments.

Welcome to the World Baby Girl!!!

Or in my parents' case, the 21st Century...

It was a pleasant surprise last Friday to come home to find that my parents had redone their home phone contract to include Caller ID AND Call Waiting!!!

People, this is HUGE!!!

My Mother HATES call waiting - if you put her on hold, she will hang up on you. Or at least, she hangs up on her children. Sometimes she's a little more patient with others so she might let you get away with it once or twice before she starts hanging up on you.

But I think the real kicker is going to be watching her operate the phone when she has someone break in on the call - I kind of freaked out when it happened to me the other night. I couldn't remember which button to push ("Flash") so I hit a bunch of different ones until it came to me (please, people, my parents just got this service, it's not like it was avaliable to me growing up and I've only had a cell phone for about 8 years at this point!!!).

As for Caller ID, the whole point is to be able to see who is calling in order to decide whether or not you want to answer the phone - well, I can see there is going to be a learning curve on this one. I still hadn't convince my mom to use her voice mail in this way so I doubt she'll adjust quickly to waiting until the 2nd or 3rd ring to see who is calling.

Really, I guess the real question is how long has it been since they redid their phone contract for it now to be a part of the basic package AND why do they even still have a home phone?!?! (Those are questions for another day and another time).

Ewwwww...

I have had a perpetual sinus infection ALL summer long... it gets a little better and then it gets a little worse. I'm constantly sniffing and blowing my nose - real attractive, let me tell you...

I really think my living quarters have something to do with it. I live in the basement, given it's a nice basement, but it still has some basement like qualities.

Like water dripping from the sink above on random occasions - one time, it dripped on a red sweater and whatever was in the water ruined my sweater. Something to be concerned about? I think so.

It has a dropped ceiling with some tiles missing - not enough to concern me. In fact, I totally bypass being concerned about the missing tiles and focus on the brown stuffing like material which floats down from the ceiling on a routine basis.

It's creepy crawly situation - my parents are clean yet messy people. The bug man sprays on a rountine basis (I should know, I usually am the one who has to let him in). Norma (LOVE NORMA!) comes on a weekly basis to keep us shiny and happy people. Yet the creepy crawlies of the earth still manage to appear in my living area. Granted, it's usually their corpses I see most often (obviously, the bug juice works).

Lack of sunlight - I call my bedroom the batcave because it has no windows or doors. Great for afternoon naps, it's cold and dark. But not so great in terms of fresh air.

You win some, you lose some.

Again, it is a nice (and FREE) basement but I am counting down the days (15!!!) until I MOVE back into the sunlight and into my own space...

Growing Up

I know I'm one of those people who will never fully grow up. I will always be crashing on a friend's couch. Making the immature choice. Continuously refusing to permanently committed to anything. I'm beginning to accept this part of my personalty and apprecitating for what it is. Kind of hard to ignore a large part of your personality. I recognize my limitations and realize that I may have to pay for the time it takes me to make a decision about 'permanent' choices. I analyze and agonize over these decisions when I should just go with my gut. Nothing is truly permanent and all can be changed.

I've always known I have wanderlust... that's been evident for a long time. I hate the feeling of being trapped and lost options, hence my lack of success with relationships. I never wanted to be in the same place twice and I've learned the hard way that you can't replicate the experience you've had before.

So it doesn't surprise me that I've made the choice that I have. Instead of staying in my parent's basement for free (slacker) or buying my own place (mature), I'm renting a house.

Do I realize it's a waste of money? Yes.
Do I think it's the smartest financial decision I ever made? No.
Do I think it's the right thing to buy myself some time while I work and allow myself some personal space and freedom. YES!!!

It's time to establish myself as an adult in this town and living on my own will help with that. Plus I need to determine if I like living here as an adult. By crashing in my parent's basement, I don't take myself seriously and I know there are some other people who don't either. Plus I need my own space - it's a territory issue. It's the same reason why I'm over the roommate thing as well.

Plus, I LOVE the house. It's a cute 1910 bungalow on one of the oldest streets in town and I love the neighborhood. I can walk downtown and Sandy has a yard to play in. Fireplaces in every room, a huge front porch, a sleeping porch on the side, ceiling fans, a butler's panty, a clawfoot bathtub and the list goes on. I'm so excited and I can't wait for September 1st. I hate to move but I think this will be great...

I'll put up pictures of my new place when I can... the prior renters are currently in residence so I'm going to try not to bug them but I've driven by the past two days to check it out again. Just to make sure it's still there and to remind myself that it's mine. Well, at least for the next 12 months.

I love it...

Do you smell it? It's called FREEDOM...

Babies, Baptisms, and Birthdays

We got back last night after a whirl-wind trip to southern Mississippi to see my sister and nephew baptised. It was a small, intimate ceremony with just our family, my grandparents and Will's mom in the chapel at their new church. But it was a fun excuse to see Leah, Will and William. Plus they had moved into their new house last Friday so we were able to check that out as well. Here are some pictures of the family and festivities.




























































These last two are him somewhat walking... he can do it, he's just at that stage where he's figured out that he's faster on his knees, crawling. So he always has this moment of hesitation, where he's deciding which to do... it's kind of funny, especially when he drops down and takes off. The look of satisfaction on his face is priceless.












It was also Joel's birthday... He turned 26 so we had cake (yes!) and sang "Happy Birthday" to him. He and Lauren have known each other for 6 years so he's an unofficial member of our family.

And yes, I do have the cutest nephew ever... Don't believe me? Check out this last picture - Lauren and Joel are tag teaming him, trying to button his britches... He's laughing and wiggling, it was funny to watch. So I grabbed my camera to get a picture of them and he sees me and starts hamming it up. Laughing and posing for the camera. He's a mess.

Things that Annoy Me Waaaaaaaaaay More than they Should*

People who back into parking spots. What is the point of this?

Slow cars/people who block the road/sidewalk - I got places to be people! Mooooooove.

Talking on a cell phone, LOUDLY, in public.

Shoes that look Fabulous and feel Awful. I experience this one through my own choices more than I would like to admit.

People who invade my personal space bubble while standing in line. Breathing down the back of my neck is NOT going to make the line move faster.

Continuous beeping noises: alarms, timers, etc. These can boil me over faster than I'd like to admit.

The fact that department stores try to sell fall/winter clothing starting in July - we live in GEORGIA!! We won't be able to even think about sweaters and jackets until Thanksgiving at the earliest. Most likely not until after Christmas.

The fact that my older sister never includes me in her count of people who should receive invitations, announcements, etc. I am an adult, I get my own mail, I deserve to be counted. She always wants to keep mine for the scrapbook. Order an extra one next time.


Customer service people who fail to offer service.

Having to wear sunglasses in the rain because the sun is also shining... it's perfectly reasonable but I just feel stupid. Like I'm a poser who's too cool for school with my shades on inside.

And on that note, people who wear their sunglasses inside and their collars turned up.

*Disclaimer: I'm not in a bad mood today, nor am I a hateful person, just venting a little? Or maybe recognizing that I need to have a little more patience.

Seriously?

He called me...
and acted like everything was completely normal.

Seriously?

As though we had never had the hour long conversation, ending the start of a great relationship. As if all was as it had been.

And men say women are hard to understand.

While I've been enjoying my DLS (his term), I'm over games. I don't have the time or the energy. I used to really enjoy the obsessive discussions and squeals of laughter over margaritas with the girls. But now I just want to be able to smile that contented smile, tell them he made me breakfast the last time I was there, and go on about my way.

I'm not looking for a groom. I do want honestly, companionship, comfort, and desire. And if it's hot, well... you won't hear any complaints from me.

I'm not certain how to proceed... Any suggestions?


"Women might be able to fake orgasms. But men can fake a whole relationship."
- Sharon Stone

Save the Drama..

For your mama!

Glad I didn't bother to change my relationship status on my facebook page because I'd now have a broken heart. In less than five days, my DLS managed to tell me his plan for our future, give me a key to his apartment, and then tell me he didn't have the time it takes to devote to a relationship.

Contradict yourself much?

I'd say so...

OH! And he did it over the phone. Because in case you didn't know, "how do you say this to someone face to face?"

ARGH@!&!#@@!*$!@#

I mean, seriously. Actually, out of all the above, I understand the phone thing the most. He's been traveling (alot) for work and we don't live that close to one another. I guess he was thinking about the price of gas.

But the rest of it makes no sense... especially the key part. Totally his idea and he doesn't want it back... "Just throw it out"

I've been dealing with this news for 48 hours. I'm not totally rocked but I definitely am not enjoying the experience. It hurts when someone decides you aren't worth their time. Endings just aren't fun. What is funny is that the whole time we were talking, I kept hearing Miranda from SATC telling those girsl on the steps: "he's just not that into you".

Oh, and the other good part, he doesn't want to see me but he does want to keep talking t0 me. WHAT!?!?

I'm batting zero folks, maybe 2008 just isn't my year. Next season?

The Library

I have rediscovered the library... Inspired by my desire to spend less money on non-necessity items and to continue to read at my current rate, I got a library card about 2 months ago. I used to love going to the library, from the moment I began to read and all the way through school. I'd spend hours picking out my selections, sitting amongst the stacks, even the smell of the rooms... I love it all! It was slowly replaced by bookstores but my budget is making all kinds of changes in my life. Hence, our reunion.

It's been great. Sad, I know but I love to read. I can curl up in my big red chair and spend the afternoon immersed in someone's creation. The topics and timeperiods vary but the joy never stops. I love the escapism that books allow. I love how they can provoke emotion and inspire me in a way nothing else does. Movies and music also help keep me motivated but not in the same way.

Currently, I've been churning through The Fair Tax Book by Neal Boortz & John Linder. It's been a little slow going because I've been burning the candle at both ends but it's enlightened me to realize I know very little of American policy after World War I... even with all the history classes I took to boost my GPA. Most American history classes really emphasis the Revolutionary and Civil Wars, hopefully you make it to the WWI but after that... forget it.

So in my weekly visit to the Monroe Public Library, I picked up 3 books about Lyndon B. Johnson and his presidency. Historical Biographies, if you will(Yawn, I know). But The Fair Tax book references his "Great America" speech which I nothing little to nothing about, plus I have to start somewhere and I've read a great deal about Kennedy.

I just came in from my car and the books are riding around with me today until I make it home this evening and I'm excited about finishing the tax book and starting my self-given history book. I'm sure I don't have the 'best' books on LBJ out there, so of course, feel free to suggest others I might like.

To get back to my original thought, I've missed the library and I now have a new (old) free joy!

Now, if I can only remember to return the books on time...

Transition

I've been some type of transition or another for the past seven years of my life - do the math, I graduated from college in 2001. When the parental plan for me ended. Hence, the transitional phase of life.

I have a couple of major life questions that I've been pondering with and I haven't found a suitable answer yet. Then, the fact that I don't have an answer bothers me. And so on, and so forth.

I'm constantly looking for answers, suggestions, inspiration, divine intervention, whatever...

As I was reading an article yesterday, the author mentioned a phrase her mama used, based losely on a bible verse:

"If you don't know what to do, just be still"

I bounced it off my Dirty Little Secret last night and he thought it was a good idea. Just wait to see how things fall into place. For me, patience is not a virtue but we'll see how this goes. Can't hurt. Maybe I should give myself a deadline. Hmmm...

Made Me Giggle

I'm sure everyone has already seen this but I just came across it and it made me laugh - especially with how my week and my job are going right now (more on that later) but I hope it makes you giggle too.


One day while walking down the street a highly successful Human Resources Manager was tragically hit by a bus and she died. Her soul arrived up in heaven where she was met at the Pearly Gates by St.Peter himself.

Welcome to Heaven,” said St. Peter. “Before you get settled in though, it seems we have a problem. You see, strangely enough, we’ve never once had a Human Resources Manager make it this far and we’re not really sure what to do with you.”

“No problem, just let me in,” said the woman.

“Well, I’d like to, but I have higher orders. What we’re going to do is let you have a day in Hell and a day in Heaven and then you can choose whichever one you want to spend an eternity in.”

“Actually, I think I’ve made up my mind, I prefer to stay in Heaven”, said the woman “Sorry, we have rules…” And with that St. Peter put the executive in an elevator and it went down-down-down to hell.

The doors opened and she found herself stepping out onto the putting green of a beautiful golf course. In the distance was a country club and standing in front of her were all her friends - fellow executives that she had worked with and they were well dressed in evening gowns and cheering for her.

They ran up and kissed her on both cheeks and they talked about old times. They played an excellent round of golf and at night went to the country club where she enjoyed an excellent steak and lobster dinner. She met the Devil who was actually a really nice guy (kind of cute) and she had a great time telling jokes and dancing. She was having such a good time that before she knew it, it was time to leave. Everybody shook her hand and waved goodbye as she got on the elevator.

The elevator went up-up-up and opened back up at the Pearly Gates and found St.Peter waiting for her. “Now it’s time to spend a day in heaven,” he said.

So she spent the next 24 hours lounging around on clouds and playing the harp and singing. She had great time and before she knew it her 24 hours were up and St. Peter came to get her.

“So, you’ve spent a day in hell and you’ve spent a day in heaven. Now you must choose your eternity,” The woman paused for a second and then replied, “Well, I never thought I’d say this, I mean, Heaven has been really great and all, but I think I had a better time in Hell.”

So St. Peter escorted her to the elevator and again she went down-down-down back to Hell. When the doors of the elevator opened she found herself standing in a desolate wasteland covered in garbage and filth. She saw her friends were dressed in rags and were picking up the garbage and putting it in sacks. The Devil came up to her and put his arm around her.

“I don’t understand,” stammered the woman, “yesterday I was here and there was a golf course and a country club and we ate lobster and we danced and had a great time. Now all there is, is a wasteland of garbage and all my friends look miserable.”

The Devil looked at her smiled and said…

“Yesterday we were recruiting you, today you’re an Employee.."

No Fireworks...

I missed fireworks this past weekend... they were all around us. But I didn't get to see any.

I talked about going to see them, multiple times, had multiple options, locations and yet we never made it to any of them. We finished dinner and stood in the parking lot of the restaurant watching them from afar.

It was quite the let down... Kind of seemed like the holiday didn't happen because I didn't get to see fireworks like I remember. The ones that happened when I was a kid when my dad would put us on top of the old station wagon and tell us not to move. The sky would open with a crack and boom, lighting up with magnifigant displays of color. I was never afraid of the noise and I was always delighted with the shows.

I worked on an island in the middle of a lake, teaching kids to waterski for a couple of summers while I was in college. They would do the 4th of July firework show from that island. We would gather all the kids up on the rocks to the side of the island, gather together, and watch the lights shoot up over our heads. I have a lot of memories from those summers... nothing bets having front row seats for the fireworks.

I missed them. I won't let that happen again. I believe in celebrating the holiday and having a good time. Watermelon, swimming, three-leg races all around... but it's not the same without fireworks.

unequivocally, me

I am passionate. I don't mean dramatic (although, that happens sometimes too). I am a person who gets wholeheartedly involved. I either do something or I don't, I don't believe in half-ass. Therefore, a lot doesn't get done. But what does, gets done to the nth degree. Over-the-top, overboard, excessive and detailed. When I put my all into something, it's 110%. Which is great, except when it's something I'm not into that I have to do. That's when I put my all into procrastinating (which I am damn good at too!)

I am naive. Just like my mother and Julia Roberts in Pretty Woman, "people shock the hell out of me". I'm always surprised at what others do and say, their inner thoughts, motives and agendas. I'm not saying I don't operate without an agenda but I usually think it's rather transparent when I have one. I'm always taken back by mean thoughts and words, especially when they are directed at me. (Unfair, I know).

I am opinionated. To a fault. I was encouraged as a child to form and share my opinions. I was loud and outspoken. I spoke up when no one else did. I was precocious, if you will. And I was confident and self-centered enough to believe that everyone wanted to know my opinion. To my parents and their friends, this was cute. Until it wasn't.

I like to escape. When it comes to fight or flight, I'm a flyer. Through whatever means necessary, I choose to escape my reality and immerse myself in another. I love to read, watch movies and take off at a moment's notice. All to not deal with my reality. Commitment issues? Flightiness? Irresponsible? All me and yet not at the same time. I like to shake it all up and start over on a routine basis. Sometimes, it works. Other times it doesn't.

Yet, it's unequivocally me.

Twitterpated

Definition of twitterpated :.
(twĭt'ər-pāt'ĕd)
1)to be completely enamored with someone/something.
2) the flighty exciting feeling you get when you think about/see the object of your affection.
3) romantically excited (i.e.: aroused)
4) the ever increasing acceleration of heartbeat and body temperature as a result of being engulfed amidst the exhilaration and joy of being/having a romantic entity in someone's life.

And I am SOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO twitterpated.

With the completely WRONG guy.

That's harsh to say but he is.

So wrong for me. He's what your mother would refer to as being from the "wrong side of the tracks" when she was in high school...

We always refer to people as being "good on paper" meaning they have all the requirements that you want in a significant other yet you aren't attracted to them. And with him, nothing seems right.

And yet, I've been counting down the minutes until I get to go hang out with him tonight.

It's still really early (we've only known each other for 4 weeks) but I really like this guy.

What does concern me is that at lunch the other day, he said: "you really are slumming with me, aren't you?"
I had no idea what he meant or what to say to him ...

I had heard the term 'slumming' before but it's not in my mental mindset to think I'm better or above someone else.

I looked it up too, according to Wikipedia:

Slumming (derived from slum) originally referred to a practice, fashionable among certain segments of the middle class in many Western countries, whereby one deliberately patronizes areas or establishments which are populated by, or intended for, people well below one's own socio-economic level, motivated by curiosity or a desire for adventure. Most often these establishments take the form of bars or restaurants in low-income areas.

In Good Will Hunting, for example, the main character uses "slumming" to describe sexual relationships between rich, well-educated girls and poorer boys, whom they might encounter around their universities.

He's a gentle guy who treats me with respect. I enjoy talking to him (and we do, for hours). He listens to me - he remembers what I've said, asks me questions about what's going on in my life and brings up past conversations. He enjoys traveling and he's a very motivated person who works hard to do a good job. He's always concerned about doing the 'right' thing. He makes me laugh and seems to enjoy me for who I am. I'm so comfortable around him. And he's really cute when he smiles at me.

Isn't that what you want in a significan other? Someone who makes you feel better just by being around them? Someone who likes you for you?

Work, NOLA, and Babies...

It's been a while. Don't feel neglected... I'm here. Just not as prompt as I should be. It's been a busy couple of weeks.




I've been really busy with work. Which is great. I love what I do and I think I'm doing a good job. I miss my leisure time but things aren't so crazy that I can't breathe. It's good.



I went to New Orleans over Memorial Day for a suprised shower for our friend Jenn, who's seven months pregnant. I have a great group of girlfriends from college that I travel with and we've remained really close friends - I've actually become better friends with some of them since graduation than I was in school.

Jenn is the first of us to have a baby so we went all out for this shower. It was so much fun and so good to hear how everyone else is doing. We've got a lot of changes: whether they are selling their home, having a baby, starting a new job or program, we're at a great change. By now we know that none of it will change our friendships but it's crazy to hear about.

Aren't we a pretty group?

Jenn is the one in blue in the middle... hard to tell that she's 7 months pregnant... she looks awesome!!!

So that's what's been going on here... what about your neck of the woods?

One of those days...

Do you ever have one of 'those' days? One in which you just shouldn't be allowed to subject yourself to other people? You're mean, crabby, judgemental and snippy. You assume the worst, look at the negative and the glass just isn't half empty... it's lying broken on the floor where you threw it down in a fit.

I'm having one of those days... for about 3 days straight now. It's affecting my work, my body, my eating habits, my sleep, and the way my pants fit. I need someone to come along and give me a big fat kick in the pants. What to do... what to do? I'm not certain.

Just looking for motivation. I have a good life, hell, I have a great life. I'm healthy, employed, educated and unobligated to anyone but myself. I can travel and roam as I please. I have a challenging job which means something to me. I have a great family which I enjoy and I have great friends who I call family. I have no reason to complain or mope about and yet, it's all I can do this week. I need something or someone to come along and get me moving. Any volunteers?

I love doing internet searches just to see what pops up... images, references, anything that amuses and/or inspires me. When I searched "bitch" to see if I could find an image for this post. I didn't really find a good picture but I did find a quote that both shocked and inspired me, gotta love Maya Angelou. She's a straight shooter who's seen the good, the bad and the ugly. Yet, she keeps on truckin and manages to give beauty in her words back to the world. I wish I had that talent.

“I love to see a young girl go out and grab the world by the lapels. Life's a bitch. You've got to go out and kick ass.” - Maya Angelou