Thursday, October 15, 2009

I'm a Thief

"We don't want to re-invent the wheel" - my father

I have often posted or linked to things which inspire me, motivate me, provoke me or make me giggle...

This does a little of all those things:

16 Things it took me over 50+ years to learn
By: Dave Barry, Nationally Syndicated Columnist

1. Never, under any circumstances, take a sleeping pill and a laxative the same night.

2. If you had to identify, in one word, the reason why the human race has not achieved, and never will achieve, its full potential, that word would be "meetings."

3. There is a very fine line between "hobby" and "mental illness."

4. People who want to share their religious views with you almost never want you to share yours with them.

5. You should not confuse your career with your life.

6. Nobody cares if you can't dance well. Just get up and dance. (This one is very important.)

7. Never lick a steak knife.

8. The most destructive force in the universe is gossip.

9. You will never find anybody who can give you a clear and compelling reason why we observe daylight savings time.

10. You should never say anything to a woman that even remotely suggests that you think she's pregnant unless you can see an actual baby emerging from her at that moment.

11. There comes a time when you should stop expecting other people to make a big deal about your birthday. That time is age 11.*

12. The one thing that unites all human beings, regardless of age, gender, religion, economic status or ethnic background, is that, deep inside, we ALL believe that we are above average drivers.

13. A person, who is nice to you, but rude to a waiter, is not a nice person. (This is very important. Pay attention. It never fails.)

14. Your friends love you anyway.

15. Never be afraid to try something new. Remember that a lone amateur built the Ark. A large group of professionals built the Titanic.

16. Thought for the day: Men are like fine wine. They start out as grapes; and it's up to the women to stomp the crap out of them until they turn into something acceptable to have dinner with.

*I'm still working on this one


Cairo Typ0 said...

Hi, stopping by from BPOTW! :)

Number 13 is too true! I hate it when people are rude to wait staff!

bettyl said...

Such great wisdom! Dave Barry and Lewis Grizzard are the best ever!!!

~Rachée said...

I love this! I liberally borrow from others too and this is so fun!
I lke number 4. I have a few family members who take it upon themselves to get uber involved in whatever thing they are into.

It Is What It Is said...

Thanks for stopping by and reading the list. I love it too!! Come back to see me:)