Friday, July 31, 2009

Wedding Dance

This is great...

I don't know if I could have done it... especially when I think of the long aisles that I have walked down at weddings but it's a great thing.

Wednesday, July 29, 2009


"Who is the happiest of men? He who values the merits of others, and in their pleasure takes joy, even as though t'were his own." Johann Wolfgang von Goethe

My nephew is here again. He's a handful. Nonstop and full of giggles. I take such delight, such joy and feel so much love around him. I was amazed at how much I loved him before he was born, how much I enjoy him and how much more I love him now.*

He's starting to talk and each day we've tried to teach him a new word: "Tree", "Door", "Keys", etc. I'm working on bulldozer right now... he loves trucks, cars, and airplanes so one of his new toys is a bulldozer so I'm trying to teach him to say it as well, it comes out sounding, "ull -oze". We'll keep at it.

He's leaving tomorrow which is no fun but I'll see him in about 6 weeks - it's just enough to note the changes which happen in between the visits. This was the first visit that he recognized me... when he saw me, he ran to me and hugged me. It's a great feeling to have that unconditional and simple love directed at you.

*However, this does NOT mean I won't my own... if anything, it's confirmed that I'm not cut out to be a mom.

Monday, July 27, 2009

My bad... My bad

"There's a world of difference between truth and facts. Facts can obscure the truth." - Maya Angelou.

Often, I talk my dog, Sandy for a walk around the neighborhood at twilight. It's cooler and after we've eaten and it's a great way for me to unwind before going to bed. Rarely, do we run into anyone else. And certainly no other animals so while she has a lease clipped to her collar, I'm usually not holding it. She behaves.... for the most part.

I realize this is wrong and irresponsible.

Tonight, we were coming down the last stretch and she took off after something and got ahead of me. The street lights are not bright and I couldn't see into the shadows. But I heard dogs barking so I started to walk faster. Then I heard a man yelling and I could see Sandy approaching an older gentleman with two large white dogs (not certain of the breed) at full force. I'm not certain who growled first but at that point I started running and yelling for my dog which illicted no response. The man was able to make Sandy back down and she came to me when I was closer. He was fussing at his dogs when I got there and after I secured Sandy, I turned to apologize. My dog was off leash and I was at fault and I wanted to make sure all was okay.

He glared at me and then sniffed and then walked past me.

It was like a scene from the movies. I was sincerely apologizing and he didn't even stop to accept it. I wasn't certain what to do but I finished my apology, getting louder as he walked away and then continued on my walk, Sandy's lease tight in hand.

I don't know what this means for our future walks...
Do I need to change the way I walk Sandy? I've lived here since March and I haven't run into anyone at this time of night so there haven't been any problems.

Sandy is aggressive to other large dogs... if they are female... sometimes. They have her file marked at the vet's as an "aggressive dog" yet the workers love her. I've had her play well with others and I've had it go horribly wrong. She's a sweet and lovable dog who I trust completely with my innocent nephew but I have to be really careful around other dogs. But it's not predictable. And everything I've done as far as training her goes has had no affect upon her or her reactive behavior.

I know I shouldn't let her walk free if I can't rely upon her to obey me. I know that I'm responsible for anything my dog does to harm another person and/or their property. And I wouldn't shirk from that but I also don't want anything to happen.

I guess it's back to obediance training for us again. Oh joy.

Saturday, July 25, 2009

Summer Break

"Deep Summer is when laziness finds respectability." - Sam Keen

Life has been busy - the other day I had to call my cell phone from my desk phone so I could find it under all the papers piled up on my desk but my lack of posting has been pure laziness. I can admit. And I'll also say that it's not likely to change while BBQs, pool parties, outdoor movies, evening concerts, and trips to the lake are taking up my evenings, weekends and thoughts.

But it's summertime... when the sun is shining, the air is heavy and laying around, doing nothing is perfectly acceptable.
So I hope to increase my posting but I'm not making any promises, to myself or anyone else. Sometimes, to write about life, you have to know it and I'm always going to choose an experience over work, any day.

Tuesday, July 21, 2009


"See how nature - trees, flowers, grass - grows in silence; see the stars, the moon, and the sun, how they move in silence... we need silence to be able to touch souls." - Mother Teresa

Here is the sun setting over Lake Lanier in north Georgia. I took this from my uncle's boat on Sunday evening as my family gathered to celebrate my grandfather's 82nd birthday.

The warmth of the moment and the love of my family made for a great evening. My life is very busy and this week is especially choatic - yet some version of being still keeps coming back to me in different areas of my life. Reminding me to be patient. Be calm. And remain still to find my footing before moving again. It's a constant for me lately.

Saturday, July 11, 2009

Theme Song

"To live is the rarest thing in the world. Most people exist, that is all." - Oscar Wilde

Tuesday, July 7, 2009

Stuff I Love

"People who like this sort of thing will find this the sort of thing they like." - Abraham Lincoln

In an effort to focus on the positive, I want to share a few of my favorite things...

1. Brownie Batter Blizzards at Dairy Queen - they're back for a limited time and I'm enjoying this delicious frozen treat.

2. The silliness of kids - I'm helping with the local theater children's group this week and the wiggling amazes me. They can't stay still and I can't stop laughing.

3. The coolness of clean sheets - nothing is better than a great night's sleep on clean and cool sheets, it's like a whole night of flipping over the pillow to the cool side.

4. Curling up with a good book and no time limit - I love to read, I love getting to know the characters, and escaping my reality. Pure heaven.

5.Diving head first into the pool - it's summertime and there's nothing quite like that refreshing first touch of the cool water. I have a love/hate relationship with summer but this is one of the things I love.

6. Making progress - I have a short attention span so big, time-consuming projects sometimes overwhelm me. But projects with visible results make me feel like I'm actually doing something. It's a nice feeling.

7. The moment of the first kiss - I'm single again and I'm eager to have that moment again. The excitement, the butterflies, and the sweetness... I can't wait.

Friday, July 3, 2009


"Growing up is never easy. You hold on to thing that were. You wonder what's to come. But that night, I think we knew it was time to let go of what had been, and look ahead to waht would be. Other days. New days. Days to come. The thing is, we didn't hate each other for getting older. We just had to forgive ourselves... for growing up." - The Wonder Years.

I've been home sick for the past couple of days. And you know what that means. Bad T.V. And lots of it. Fortunately, my tivo was pretty full since my schedule had been full for the last couple of weeks so I was doing ok in between my fever induced naps. Then I stumbled upon a marathon of "16 and Pregnant" on MTV. And I was fascinated.

Captivated. It's like watching a train wreck. The fear, the 'plans', the immaturity, the idealism, the realities, the concessions, the heartbreak.

I was amazed. All of it blew me away. Several of the girls were hardworking and goal oriented acheivers who lives would be forever changed. One of them transfered to an accelerated school so she would graduate before the baby came and then started college the next semester, all while working and taking care of the child (and without much help from the father of her child).

The other thing that I saw coming but was touched by the innocent heartbreak of each of the young mothers: the unfortunate but inevitable moment when the "father" would let the girl down. He'd be late to pick up the baby, choose to leave her and the child at home while he went out with friends, keep her from graduating so that he could, etc. You could see it happening and each episode had the girl saying, in some form or another, "He doesn't want to grow up... I didn't want/wasn't ready to either... but I didn't have a choice".

My mom has always told my sisters and I that it's a double standard, that girls pay more for an accidental pregnancy, how guys are always allowed the option of walking away. But this show, this MTV documentary shows it in a way that undeniable.

If I was a teacher or a health worker or somehow involved with middle school children, I would require them to watch this, early high schoolers too. In my county, and I believe in the state, our health/sex education doesn't teach anything but abstinence. They give less information about birth control and contraceptives than they did when I went through in 1992. And yet, the law makers and leaders of our state complain about the pregnancy rates and the cycles of generations of dependency upon welfare. Without getting on my soapbox, surely you can make the connection? Education + Information + Accessability = Protected Sexually Active Teenagers = Less Pregnant Teenagers.

On one of the shows, a counselor pulls in other teen moms to speak to one of the pregnant girls, about how childcare, school, making it work, etc. And her comment after the session, "this was supposed to make me feel better".

At that school alone, there were 10 other teenage mothers who showed up to the session... out of how many invited? How many had dropped out and couldn't be found by the counselor? Out of how many who had abortions? Out of how many who lost their babies through miscarriage? Out of how many who accidentially became pregnant? Out of how many who are having sex and haven't gotten caught?

Because that's the only thing seperating the girls who are pregnant and those who aren't... who has gotten 'caught'.