"Life moves pretty fast. If you don't stop and look around once in a while, you could miss it." — Ferris Bueller
And so, it's the middle of January - life has sped up significantly and I'm scrambling to keep up with it. The month (and my life) are flying by... I'm 30 and I'm not certain who I am, or what I want, or how to make it happen for me. All of these and more are daily questions - maybe this is what getting old is like because I don't remember being 'concerned' about these issues five or even ten years ago. I need to remember to step back, take stock and then move forward - not stand still while constantly questioning...
Today is supposed to be a holiday but I live/work in one of those jobs which doesn't "DO" holidays so I'm sitting at my desk this morning - looking for another job... Not really but not entirely untrue either. I've mentioned it before, I'm not entirely comfortable in my skin here, and I just had a weekend of solitude to prove it to me again. My life here, it isn't what I want it to be and I'm not certain how to make it something I want...
I subscribe to an job openings email list which is a dream from another point in my life... I guess it's my one way of keeping my finger in the water, knowing what other options are out there. A job is on the list which is VERY appealing to me today and I'm tempted to apply... There are 80 million questions running through my head currently about how I'd make it work but the sensible part of me is telling myself, apply & see what happens, then figure out the details if I get the position. And I think I'm going to. I've never been afraid of life and that's how I can best describe my feelings currently - fear. Not going to give into that...
1 comment:
this entry summed up how i am feeling as well! "not stand still while constantly questioning..." i know that feeling. hang in there, we'll get it.
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