“The miracle isn’t that I finished. The miracle is that I had the courage to start.” -John Bingham
I've been slightly MIA because life has, once again, taken over. I'm having long days at work, then followed by play rehearsal 3 nights a week and trying to be somewhat social during this gloomy month. I love the south, it's home and it's beautiful but it always needs some help during the months of January & February. It's gloomy, it's damp, and this year it's cold. I love the cold but I like it to be accompanied by scenic snowfalls and sunny afternoons. We're just cold enough to be uncomfortable but without powdery playgrounds. We've had more threats of snow this year than any previous year I can remember but no dice.
As time moves on, February will bring more sunshine and the days are already getting longer but January is always such a hard month to find emotional motivation and strength. Hence, why I never start any New Year resolutions until after I manage to make it through this month. So today is the last day of the month and I have changes in my life to make. Starting with a healthier lifestyle - anyting, and I mean anything, bad for me must go. People included. Negative influences and "friends" who make me feel bad about myself will no longer be allowed to influence me. I will look for the beauty within myself and others for inspiration, motivation and satisfaction.
I will continued to work towards my goal of extended, international travel to experience more of the world and other cultures. To obtain this goal, I must continue to live frugally, fulfill my previous obligations, save diligently and complete the work upon my house. All of these are obtainable goals and I am slowly making progress. Recently, I watched Seabiscuit and during his recovery and that of his horse, Red the jockey, repeats the saying, "brick by brick, my son, brick by brick" about the building of Rome. His voice rings through my head as I save, "penny by penny". It will happen, in good time.
Part of my changes need to be physical... I need to eat better, sleep better, and exercise more. I do better when I'm on a schedule yet I rebel from setting up one. It's hard for me to start but tomorrow morning, I'll wake to go to the gym and commit to a hour workout even if it kills me. I have done enough damage to my physical self and I'm not wasting more money on the same clothing in a larger size. Twice a week, I'm going to attend a yoga class which I know I will enjoy. In addition to that, I'm going to start swimming - I swam in high schoool and I've always enjoyed it as exercise plus I'm acutally good at it which makes it easier. I've got a pool membership (have since last summer) so I'll add that to my workout schedule when I can - have to work out the details on that one still.
It feels good to write it down... It's the beginning of change and I need someting to change (as I've mentioned here before) so now I'm making it happen. And, brick by brick, all of it will change.
Sunday, January 31, 2010
Monday, January 18, 2010
Whoa, Nellie!
"Life moves pretty fast. If you don't stop and look around once in a while, you could miss it." — Ferris Bueller
And so, it's the middle of January - life has sped up significantly and I'm scrambling to keep up with it. The month (and my life) are flying by... I'm 30 and I'm not certain who I am, or what I want, or how to make it happen for me. All of these and more are daily questions - maybe this is what getting old is like because I don't remember being 'concerned' about these issues five or even ten years ago. I need to remember to step back, take stock and then move forward - not stand still while constantly questioning...
Today is supposed to be a holiday but I live/work in one of those jobs which doesn't "DO" holidays so I'm sitting at my desk this morning - looking for another job... Not really but not entirely untrue either. I've mentioned it before, I'm not entirely comfortable in my skin here, and I just had a weekend of solitude to prove it to me again. My life here, it isn't what I want it to be and I'm not certain how to make it something I want...
I subscribe to an job openings email list which is a dream from another point in my life... I guess it's my one way of keeping my finger in the water, knowing what other options are out there. A job is on the list which is VERY appealing to me today and I'm tempted to apply... There are 80 million questions running through my head currently about how I'd make it work but the sensible part of me is telling myself, apply & see what happens, then figure out the details if I get the position. And I think I'm going to. I've never been afraid of life and that's how I can best describe my feelings currently - fear. Not going to give into that...
And so, it's the middle of January - life has sped up significantly and I'm scrambling to keep up with it. The month (and my life) are flying by... I'm 30 and I'm not certain who I am, or what I want, or how to make it happen for me. All of these and more are daily questions - maybe this is what getting old is like because I don't remember being 'concerned' about these issues five or even ten years ago. I need to remember to step back, take stock and then move forward - not stand still while constantly questioning...
Today is supposed to be a holiday but I live/work in one of those jobs which doesn't "DO" holidays so I'm sitting at my desk this morning - looking for another job... Not really but not entirely untrue either. I've mentioned it before, I'm not entirely comfortable in my skin here, and I just had a weekend of solitude to prove it to me again. My life here, it isn't what I want it to be and I'm not certain how to make it something I want...
I subscribe to an job openings email list which is a dream from another point in my life... I guess it's my one way of keeping my finger in the water, knowing what other options are out there. A job is on the list which is VERY appealing to me today and I'm tempted to apply... There are 80 million questions running through my head currently about how I'd make it work but the sensible part of me is telling myself, apply & see what happens, then figure out the details if I get the position. And I think I'm going to. I've never been afraid of life and that's how I can best describe my feelings currently - fear. Not going to give into that...
Monday, January 11, 2010
Travel Update
The only difference between a rut and a grave is the depth." - Anonymous
As far as an update on my travel plans, I've got little progress to report. As I mentioned before, I have some other financial obligations to take care of as well as work on my house to complete. So far, I have almost $100 designated to my travel fund... not much I know but I started at the beginning of the holiday season and I went out a lot and went out of town for NYE. But enough with the excuses, that's where I am, cash wise. Not a big dent in the original goal of $3000. But the hardest part is getting started so I've at least got that done. {Insert After School special cheers here}
Other than continuing to read other's adventures and daydream about my own, I've got nothing. Strike that, I did have a conversation with a property owner on my street about renting out her house, she hasn't had any trouble having renters and good ones at that. I forgot to ask what she charges but I'll ask her the next time. So that's a definite possibility for my house.
As far as an update on my travel plans, I've got little progress to report. As I mentioned before, I have some other financial obligations to take care of as well as work on my house to complete. So far, I have almost $100 designated to my travel fund... not much I know but I started at the beginning of the holiday season and I went out a lot and went out of town for NYE. But enough with the excuses, that's where I am, cash wise. Not a big dent in the original goal of $3000. But the hardest part is getting started so I've at least got that done. {Insert After School special cheers here}
Other than continuing to read other's adventures and daydream about my own, I've got nothing. Strike that, I did have a conversation with a property owner on my street about renting out her house, she hasn't had any trouble having renters and good ones at that. I forgot to ask what she charges but I'll ask her the next time. So that's a definite possibility for my house.
Sunday, January 10, 2010
Magic Words
"Get around people who have something of value to share with you. Their impact will continue to have a significant effect on your life long they have departed." - Jim Rohn
There's something to be said about surrounding yourself with people who inspire and motivate you. Everytime I have a reunion with my college girlfriends, I leave feeling rejuvenated, motivated, and ambitious for whatever is coming next in my life. They are inspiring and accomplished women who real and supportive of my dreams. It's something I miss in my everyday life and I'm openly seeking... can you put out a want ad for challenging and stimulating girlfriends? Without seeming like a weirdo?
So I try to surround myself with motivated and interesting women, a little more difficult when you live in Mayberry... but slowly and surely, I'm meeting new people and making friends. And I appreciate it when they share their challenges and inspirations. Here's one passed along from an artist I really admore called "The Magic Moment" from Paul Coelho's Blog... hopefully it will touch you the way it got me.
We have to take risks. We can only truly understand the miracle of life when we let the unexpected manifest itself.
Every day – together with the sun – God gives us a moment in which it is possible to change everything that makes us unhappy.
Every day we try to pretend that we don’t realize that moment, that it doesn’t exist, that today is just the same as yesterday and will be the same as tomorrow. But if you pay attention, you can discover the magic instant.It may be hiding at the moment when we put the key in the door in the morning, in the silence right after dinner, in the thousand and one things that all seem the same to us.
This moment exists – a moment when all the strength of the stars passes through us and lets us work miracles.
Happiness is at times a blessing – but usually it’s a conquest. The magic instant helps us to change, drives us forward to seek our dreams. We shall suffer and go through quite a few difficult moments and face many a disappointment – but this is all transitory and inevitable, and eventually we shall feel proud of the marks left behind by the obstacles. In the future we will be able to look back with pride and faith.
Poor are those who are afraid of running risks. Because maybe they are never disappointed, never disillusioned, never suffer like those who have a dream to pursue. But when they look back – for we always look back – they will hear their heart saying: “What did you do with the miracles that God sowed for your days? What did you do with the talent that your Master entrusted to you? You buried it deep in a grave because you were afraid to lose it.
So this is your inheritance: the certainty that you have wasted your life.”Poor are those who hear these words. For then they will believe in miracles, but the magic instants of life will have already passed.
in “By the river Piedra I sat down and wept”
There's something to be said about surrounding yourself with people who inspire and motivate you. Everytime I have a reunion with my college girlfriends, I leave feeling rejuvenated, motivated, and ambitious for whatever is coming next in my life. They are inspiring and accomplished women who real and supportive of my dreams. It's something I miss in my everyday life and I'm openly seeking... can you put out a want ad for challenging and stimulating girlfriends? Without seeming like a weirdo?
So I try to surround myself with motivated and interesting women, a little more difficult when you live in Mayberry... but slowly and surely, I'm meeting new people and making friends. And I appreciate it when they share their challenges and inspirations. Here's one passed along from an artist I really admore called "The Magic Moment" from Paul Coelho's Blog... hopefully it will touch you the way it got me.
We have to take risks. We can only truly understand the miracle of life when we let the unexpected manifest itself.
Every day – together with the sun – God gives us a moment in which it is possible to change everything that makes us unhappy.
Every day we try to pretend that we don’t realize that moment, that it doesn’t exist, that today is just the same as yesterday and will be the same as tomorrow. But if you pay attention, you can discover the magic instant.It may be hiding at the moment when we put the key in the door in the morning, in the silence right after dinner, in the thousand and one things that all seem the same to us.
This moment exists – a moment when all the strength of the stars passes through us and lets us work miracles.
Happiness is at times a blessing – but usually it’s a conquest. The magic instant helps us to change, drives us forward to seek our dreams. We shall suffer and go through quite a few difficult moments and face many a disappointment – but this is all transitory and inevitable, and eventually we shall feel proud of the marks left behind by the obstacles. In the future we will be able to look back with pride and faith.
Poor are those who are afraid of running risks. Because maybe they are never disappointed, never disillusioned, never suffer like those who have a dream to pursue. But when they look back – for we always look back – they will hear their heart saying: “What did you do with the miracles that God sowed for your days? What did you do with the talent that your Master entrusted to you? You buried it deep in a grave because you were afraid to lose it.
So this is your inheritance: the certainty that you have wasted your life.”Poor are those who hear these words. For then they will believe in miracles, but the magic instants of life will have already passed.
in “By the river Piedra I sat down and wept”
Monday, January 4, 2010
One Word: BOLD
"Whatever you do, or dream you can, begin it. Boldness has genius and power and magic in it." - Johann Wolfgang von Goethe.
Like everyone else around this time of year, I'm taking a good look at the past year, what I liked, what I didn't, and what I'd like to change in the upcoming year. I've been tossing around different ideas in my head for this entry, about renewal and rebirth, change and resolutions. Everything was either too cheesy or too trite... or read like an article rejected from Reader's Digest. I just wasn't able to make it work.
Then, Shutter Sister's announced their One Word Project for this next year and I began to think about what word would represent what I wanted my behavior for the next year. I ran through a bunch of rejects there too: change, hope, promise, etc.
And then I began to think about my BIG IDEA and what reactions I might get: crazy, irresponsbile, typical, gutsy, avoidance, etc. Being me, I chose to focus on the positive reactions: gutsy, independent, courageous, etc and pick from those ideas a word which would represent the energy I feel with my idea as well as the strength it will take for me to remain confident in my plan/decision to move forward with this goal. As I tweeted a couple of days ago:
Actually my word for 2010 is BOLD as in BE BOLD. Setting forth to accomplish great things after this day football & laziness! 5:50 PM Jan 1st from web
and then:
BOLD #onelittleword - for me to be bold in my choices, confident in my decision of living the my life for me, not for the approval of others 7:54 PM Jan 1st from web
So there it is, my choice for 2010 in terms of reaching my goal of living nomadically after this year. Bold in my choices, bold in my actions, bold in my self-confidence to live the life I want, not the one scripted for me, and definitely not the one I'm caught up in. Next, the plan for living boldly in 2010. Because as I said on New Year's Day:
2010's going to be my year! 12:03 PM Jan 1st from web
Like everyone else around this time of year, I'm taking a good look at the past year, what I liked, what I didn't, and what I'd like to change in the upcoming year. I've been tossing around different ideas in my head for this entry, about renewal and rebirth, change and resolutions. Everything was either too cheesy or too trite... or read like an article rejected from Reader's Digest. I just wasn't able to make it work.
Then, Shutter Sister's announced their One Word Project for this next year and I began to think about what word would represent what I wanted my behavior for the next year. I ran through a bunch of rejects there too: change, hope, promise, etc.
And then I began to think about my BIG IDEA and what reactions I might get: crazy, irresponsbile, typical, gutsy, avoidance, etc. Being me, I chose to focus on the positive reactions: gutsy, independent, courageous, etc and pick from those ideas a word which would represent the energy I feel with my idea as well as the strength it will take for me to remain confident in my plan/decision to move forward with this goal. As I tweeted a couple of days ago:
Actually my word for 2010 is BOLD as in BE BOLD. Setting forth to accomplish great things after this day football & laziness! 5:50 PM Jan 1st from web
and then:
BOLD #onelittleword - for me to be bold in my choices, confident in my decision of living the my life for me, not for the approval of others 7:54 PM Jan 1st from web
So there it is, my choice for 2010 in terms of reaching my goal of living nomadically after this year. Bold in my choices, bold in my actions, bold in my self-confidence to live the life I want, not the one scripted for me, and definitely not the one I'm caught up in. Next, the plan for living boldly in 2010. Because as I said on New Year's Day:
2010's going to be my year! 12:03 PM Jan 1st from web
Monday, December 28, 2009
Christmas Card
"My father carries around the picture of the kid who came with his wallet." - Rodney Dangerfield
As promised, here is the picture I used of Sandy for my Christmas card. I printed it in sepia so the colors didn't overwhelm the card. I liked it. Hope those who received it did too.
Our Christmas was fun and too quick and filled with pictures. For as long as i can remember, there have been no pictures of me as a baby or toddler around. For years, my sisters teased me about being adopted... as only sisters can do. And my parents claimed they went through a slide phase... all the pictures taken were on slides and we needed a projector to see them, blah blah blah. As the second child, I take every opportunity to show how I was neglected... teasing my parents about my pictures. So, my younger sister pulled out all the slides and we went through all of them. Found some great pictures of our family and trips and proof I was once a baby in their household... pictures of me crawling and Leah holding me as a baby. We're taking them to preserve them digitally so we'll have prints and copies to share soon. I'll share a little timeline when I have the pictures in hand.
Saturday, December 19, 2009
Day 12
Hard work spotlights the character of people: some turn up their sleeves, some turn up their noses, and some don't turn up at all. - Sam Ewing
And we're in the midst of the holiday season, I've wrapped so many presents for customers I have papercuts. Which is great - it's actually my favorite job in this busy season. I love to wrap gifts! I really enjoy it and when I give the present, wrapped and ready to go, back to the customer and see their delight, it gives me a sense of satisfaction. It's the small things in life.
Five more days to go! I've worked straight through the holiday season for the past 12 days and I have 5 more to go. I actually think it'll be the most I've ever worked in the holiday season. I usually take a day or two, refuse to work Sunday afternoons, or only help out. This year, I felt like I have something to prove. As if I can impact the bottom line by physically being there. And maybe I have, who knows. We're busy and thank goodness we are, therefore we'll be there for another year. Which is good since I have plans for my salary this year.
As far as my own Christmas to do list... I've got a little more to do.
Today, I mailed my Christmas Cards (minus a few missing addresses) which is the latest date I have ever mailed out my cards. I'm sure there are people who think I've crossed them off my list for this year - not so! Just running behind. I usually do them the Sunday first weekend of December and I will resume that habit next year as I don't like leaving them to last minute and I love receiving cards. But they are mostly done now and I'll knock the rest of them out in the next day or so. As soon as I find my cord to download pictures to my computer (I think it's in my desk drawer), I'll post the picture of Sandy I used for the cards. I think it's pretty dang cute.
My dad's present is here. I have something for my older sister, Leah and my nephew, William. My mom's present should arrive on Dec. 23rd which is cutting it close for me so I might plan a back up. I know what I'm getting Lauren, my younger sister and my brother in law, Will - I just need to remember to buy them. That is one thing about working in retail, sometimes you don't want to shop when you're done. We are approaching the days of no excuses... so I'll make it happen so I can enjoy wrapping my gifts... the best part!
The house is decorated and I'm glad I did that as early as I did because once this ride started, there's been no getting off. I've enjoyed my tree, decorations and coming home to the lights... I think we should keep the decorations up through the winter. It would definitely make the winter more tolerable and a little happier. Just a thought.
And we're in the midst of the holiday season, I've wrapped so many presents for customers I have papercuts. Which is great - it's actually my favorite job in this busy season. I love to wrap gifts! I really enjoy it and when I give the present, wrapped and ready to go, back to the customer and see their delight, it gives me a sense of satisfaction. It's the small things in life.
Five more days to go! I've worked straight through the holiday season for the past 12 days and I have 5 more to go. I actually think it'll be the most I've ever worked in the holiday season. I usually take a day or two, refuse to work Sunday afternoons, or only help out. This year, I felt like I have something to prove. As if I can impact the bottom line by physically being there. And maybe I have, who knows. We're busy and thank goodness we are, therefore we'll be there for another year. Which is good since I have plans for my salary this year.
As far as my own Christmas to do list... I've got a little more to do.
Today, I mailed my Christmas Cards (minus a few missing addresses) which is the latest date I have ever mailed out my cards. I'm sure there are people who think I've crossed them off my list for this year - not so! Just running behind. I usually do them the Sunday first weekend of December and I will resume that habit next year as I don't like leaving them to last minute and I love receiving cards. But they are mostly done now and I'll knock the rest of them out in the next day or so. As soon as I find my cord to download pictures to my computer (I think it's in my desk drawer), I'll post the picture of Sandy I used for the cards. I think it's pretty dang cute.
My dad's present is here. I have something for my older sister, Leah and my nephew, William. My mom's present should arrive on Dec. 23rd which is cutting it close for me so I might plan a back up. I know what I'm getting Lauren, my younger sister and my brother in law, Will - I just need to remember to buy them. That is one thing about working in retail, sometimes you don't want to shop when you're done. We are approaching the days of no excuses... so I'll make it happen so I can enjoy wrapping my gifts... the best part!
The house is decorated and I'm glad I did that as early as I did because once this ride started, there's been no getting off. I've enjoyed my tree, decorations and coming home to the lights... I think we should keep the decorations up through the winter. It would definitely make the winter more tolerable and a little happier. Just a thought.
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