Getting Better?

"I am learning all the time. The tombstone will be my diploma." ~Eartha Kitt

I'm new to my hobby of photography and I'm trying really hard to get it. To see what I want and to make it happen - lenses, lighting, fstops, ISO, wide angle, aparature... a whole new language to learn in between everything else I have to do. I get discouraged, I think I don't have the talent, the eye or the passion. I put down my camera for days at a time because life takes over.

Then, then I'll take a shot like this one. Everything works. I got the image I was trying to capture. And I'm hopefull again. I can do it. And I keep taking more really bad pictures hoping to get another shot like this:

Misery loves Company

The trick is in what one emphasizes. We either make ourselves miserable, or we make ourselves happy. The amount of work is the same.
- Carlos Castaneda

The past couple of days have been hard. A family friend passed away and it's hit me hard. For multiple reasons including protecting the privacy of the innocent, I won't say much about it. Just know I'm hurting for my friends.

Plus I've been sick. I've never had streph throat and I certainly don't ever want it again. The worst part about it was being quarantined. Especially in a time when I wanted to be there for a friend.

And it makes me feel guilty - I've been a little self-absorbed for the past couple of months, agonizing over my decisions, "problems" and indulging my every whim. In the "Big Picture" of things, I have no problems, no complaints and a happy, healthy family. If I ever needed some persective, it's been the last couple of months and I finally got a huge dose of reality. It's going to change the way I think, act, and approach my life. I need to live with more gusto and enjoy all of my moments.

Antediluvian

I am such a nerd and I freely admit that - I've gotten to the point in my life where I don't apologize for being me. And being said nerd, I love learning something new. It's what I miss most about school - the amount of new information I heard/obsorbed everyday. It's not the same in the working world.

And today, I learned a new word. So I'm a tad excited. I'm sure this is a word I should know but I didn't recognize it, even though I still caught the jist of the sentence.

ANTEDILUVIAN

Isn't that a great word? It just looks great. It's meaning isn't that great but it's an attractive word. (Told you, complete nerd).

For those of you still with me, it's meaning:

• any of the early patriarchs who lived prior to the Noachian deluge
• of or relating to the period before the biblical flood; "antediluvian man"
• so extremely old as seeming to belong to an earlier period; "a ramshackle antediluvian tenement"; "antediluvian ideas"; "archaic laws"
• ancient: a very old person